Oh I’d be happy to show then where I’m pierced should they ask….however I may be disappointed for not having the opportunity it seems!
So yes I’m…..around. I can’t say I’ve felt like sharing something that’s been very private. Damned men you know…so I told the mastersort to basically focus on his life. He doesn’t know what he wants see. I gave him some tools and things to work thru …but he’s quite lost. I’m not very near nor am I real to him right now. I will always love him. I can only hope he finds his way back to me.
What have I been focusing on? Coming back to life….Finding my purpose. Realizing the very sole thing that your life and the universe depends on is in your finger. The secret’s within us all. Only we can choose to better ourselves, better our lives and better our education. Sometimes we’re so lost and wrapped up in television, society, food and indulging in the madness of love and more or just our own stupidity….that we don’t see. Some of us never see. I’m not one of those people that never see.
You know…I’ve been reflecting (oh god run) about….the Master stuff. He’d said once or twice don’t try to be someone your not.
I was…..always a mom and nature sort FIRST and foremost. I like making a house and home. Yes… I can be sexual…probably more than most women but that’s not what defines me. I guess what defines me….is my capacity to explore and give. With someone or my dogs….with or without someone! I’m actually quite thrilled that the xx has been there thru that and has seen some of my amazing things I could do and have accomplished and events I’ve pulled off and the hard work we put into building our life (of course he was there when my mom and family and such died too as I’ve been there for his) so he’s just seen it all, from soup to nuts and I’ve seen his nuts to soup. Why is it what we want often get’s confused with what we need? Do our heads battle our hearts always?
Yeah, its the human condition
hmmm. well it’s weird. Do most people decide to sit on and squish their heads or hearts then and just ….be blobbish? (sometimes I look at people say like at the mailbox or a picnic and wonder if they are truly happy and content just getting their mail or…feeding ducks). The people I knew growing up were blobbish and content….they played cards with my parents…went bowling, held swimming parties with hotdogs and macaroni and cheese and planted gardens. They were simple and plain and lovely. I’d get bored living that way. oh hang on ….I did.
I guess it depends, its up to you what life is and what happiness is.
To each it’s different based on…..what? Their background, upbringing?
What if they had a normal plain puny background what dictates that you supposed to be plain too? (sorry I’m picking your poor man brain) No idea if I was one of those children that asked “why” all the time…
What….is that thats inside us that makes me/anyone…just want to see things differently? yet just know more is out there?? Both my parents didn’t graduate high School, later Mom mentioned I’d inspired her to do so and then my Dad followed too. What is that stuff? (besides goo) Where does it come from?? Then relatives, or your siblings want to know “why can’t you conform?
Im not sure its that complicated, or indeed that simple
Everything is a construct Of law, History, Personal connections, Imagination, Perception, Reality….That is the variable
Which mix of construct is you? This searching you do made explorers….scientists, dreamers and thinkers…But it also makes babies, Writers…writing books on love. Questions that have answers and questions that are not yet asked, Nevermind the questions yet to be answered.
In order to survive as a species, you need the cleaners, the baby makers, the builders, the explorers, the feeders, the warriors. We have individual minds beyond an ants, but all those things still are required to live.
We just added, love and poetry, wonder and lust, fear and loathing, hatred and oppression because the smarter you get, the more complicated and difficult life becomes.
Yet it is still simple. You either excel in cleaning, making, building, exploring, feeding or fighting.
Oh. Thank you (I thought as much I just didn’t know what to make of it or if it was normal)
Perhaps I was a very quiet imaginative child….I don’t think I thought too much at all. I was busy playing. Now I probably think too much and I don’t play enough! Fuck I think I’ve grown up.