Bondage Expo Dallas was spectacular! It was a whirlwind of wow; education, rope, meeting new people, rope, rope space-subspace, rope marks, play bruises and more rope, then finally folks from Europe and Japan I’ve only heard of and needed to meet. I literally had to switch gears from being focused and in Dominant mode to submissive. It was quite something to get away for a three day weekend. It was hardly relaxing. At times thrilling and definitely information overload! Worth it all!
Naturally, I brought all sorts of outfits and boots and shoes, a gal has to make a memorable impression afterall.
So what I didn’t anticipate was that I’d have such a hard time getting into a submissive mindset. Friday I was agitated and antsy having my hotel workout interrupted to have to go and register. I lost one earbud to my headphones (but found it later in my purse) I went to bed thinking I’m the worst submissive on the planet and I’ve made a huge mistake in attending. I can never possibly be at the calibur of some of these amazing rope bottoms. Saturday; Rope took care of that. What did I learn from attending clover (and WyckDave’s) Bottom class? I can snap out of subspace faster, when pain is applied! I’m absolutely excited about this!
So, because I’ve had such a huge issue with rope and I’m dealing with it’s phobia of it, I’ve been working on proactively for nearly 3 years. I hit ropespace HARD within 10 minutes of being tied up in it. The rope dragging along my skin, for example, makes me light headed and euphoric that’s when I know I’ve only got about 5, 10 minutes before descending into that wild ride that could keep me blissed out for several hours to a half a day. Then there may be subdrop. This really has been pissing me off actually, it’s also why I decided to begin running again, to assist with endurance. Apparently upping ones protein helps tremendously too while you are trying to power thru subspace to get back into normal functioning mode. Powering thru and recovering faster is key.
So pain is my bridge. *does a merry dance yay!!! I love pain!!* This technique was applied while I jumped into Stephano(Bird of Prey)Laforgia’s “Dominating the Scene” class I entered half way thru to spend time with my knotty guy. I had no intention, going in I’d be bottoming with my Dom, and in a class scene, or as I call – it in Public. I think that works best for me, you know ….not knowing a damn thing or going in to be played, much less end up dancing or being on stage. I tend to thrive in spur of the moment decisions based on the very thrill of it all. The best laid plans and having some sort of expectation can be a pain in the ass, literally.
So I got to DM the large play party (dungeon monitor) for my first time ever. What made that most special was with the Dom that taught my certification class through the Alamo City Training Academy. It often amazes me, the energy us kinksters have in this lifestyle. Energy it’s constantly exchanged, and even moreso when you’re actively playing together. The play party Saturday night was incredible. Later on I received a sadistic massage.
I got to watch my knotty guy tie up some authors of erotic dark BDSM/Taboo fiction. I was thrilled to have brought them all together. They were rather kinky for vanilla folks. Their first experiences getting suspended made my night (naturally I watch this in awe and notice everyone lives and they all come down beaming.) This helps my rope phobia I’ve been working on immensely. I saw so much fun, nudity bits, even penises. Often penises need to be covered up at many events. I don’t mind penises being on display at all. Its really strange seeing such stuff after awhile as….you totally forget people are unclothed. I may have even lost my clothing myself at one point.
So what’s most humbling is that you realize that everyone else is in awe of everyone else at the same time. There’s always something to learn, from even the most advanced possible riggers, to seasoned riggers to just the bedroom bondage folks to the new folks starting out. It was fascinating hearing the more professional riggers describe how they felt at the beginning of classes or after professional performance, that even they needed more tweaking and practice! Furthermore down the line in speaking to and hearing from so many riggers and rope enthusiasts they all felt the same; that they had a long way to go yet, were inspired and wanted to practice more too. So my fears and insecurities are justified, we all are in this together, constantly learning new things. I’m really thrilled Dallas was able to host such an event, for learning and teaching and growing. All very very interesting all around.