I made lobster tails and vegetables last night. After peeling the scary sharp tail off, there was this vein along it’s upper back yummy side that’s basically lobster fecal matter. I was terribly grossed out. Why can’t the lobster have an enema first?! Obviously this would be work, at least it was boiled and as he wasn’t living, I …still pay homage to allowing the poor thing to let me eat him. Oh god he melted in my mouth. I’ve become a fierce non-meat eater.
I’ve not had any time to chat about my life of late. For one it’s far…more than I’d planned. I’m trying to wrap my head around it and it’s all going at a pace I’m trying to balance especially as school is out! I have long days and I don’t know where I get my drive! I mean, no one really eggs me on to do stuff, I just investigate and do the work and it get’s done. Add to it the little things that make up our lives, from lawnmower maintenance, caring for our pets, and caring for our homes and cars and remembering to care for our loved ones, don’t forget to do something for ourselves in there some place it all adds up!
Our rope business has been incredibly busy. Actually it’s our busiest month ever! We’ve employed another helper along the way, who is a complete natural at making rope! I’m thankful for Jess. So, even I’ve learned to make rope! This entire process of making rope has helped my phobia considerably, I’ve yet to be suspended but I’m certain that is on the agenda. For now I am enjoying it. Allowing it to touch me and absorbing; learning it’s lay. The smell of it singed, the feel of it in my hands. The rope burns. The “woah-wow and wonder” factors of playing with it. Learning also, how to coil it up and bake it, additionally process it with natural oils (per customers requests).
Life with my knotty guy has been hectic too. We have some long days (I mean long ass days where I’m awake until 2am corrupting him) and he works through the weekend for his regular day job at times too. I’m fortunate he has his sand volleyball league he’s a part of, twice a week. Sometimes those games begin at 9:30 or 10:30 at night talk about revving up for the evening.
It’s all very worth it of course, naturally we’ll eventually “play” like this weekend. We have a class, will visit with friends and will attend the play party at the local dungeon. (I feel like it’s been ages since I’ve gone but it’s really only been a month) Again, life is best when we each have activities that make our hearts sing. On that note I’ve launched my fetish photography, hobby (for now). I’m excited to delve into that. Details coming soon!
Is there smooth sailing?! I recall that once and it was the most boring year of my very life 12 years ago. I think, because of that year, everything was so pristinely perfect and lovely and boring that I had to just change things up. There was even snow at Christmas! I suppose I’d reached my highest of heights, something everyone aspires for. Picket fence, pretty house, pretty gardens, pretty garden parties, I drove a Volvo. I had a fun job and getting my pilates instruction certification on the side, I walked to work. I worked in a flower shop on the side and volunteered at my daughters school. Never go on a three week vodka exploration out of sheer boredom if you have an addictive personality. Becoming an alcoholic was never my intent and well, that certainly did change my life up a bit, it impacts others as well. I’m ever an alcoholic now, surviving recovery. Alcohol addiction sucked. (eventually you learn to just have fun again and find other ways of coping).
In any case I’m where I am now and managed to survive. I think I’ve also realized I don’t like sitting still. It’s just not for me. My sister does that and it suits her fine. She’s utterly content living in the town my grandparents and their parents grew up in, the smell of burning garbage still permeate’s the town off old route 66. (It’s recently become illegal to do so. Yet, there are still secret garbage burners, it still obviously reeks) So that was the very town I needed to escape when I sixteen. I made an absolute oath to myself not to live in a small town in a charming house in tornado alley, with nosy neighbor’s.
I don’t understand the appeal of NOT moving or growing or exploring. I think I get this energy from my Father. My late mother had energy too but hers was just quite creative and completely out of the blue. To this day I know that my Father’s wife gives him “caffeinated” coffee, but actually puts decaf in the cannister. He has a natural abundance of energy and does all sorts of projects all the time. I’m the same. I just installed a new toilet seat, I also restrung the weed eater for the first time ever. I feel so accomplished.
I get charged on life. Nature, mostly I suppose. I’m fascinated by it’s constant cycle. It’s at least never ending and when you think you’ve lost a plant or tree, and were about to remove the thing, you find growth on it! (and perhaps a huge toad looking up at you saying hello) I love the sights, the surprises, and the smells of life even the animal bits, and parts you find that may not have made it. I perhaps give them a grave. The bugs are just annoying. I use herbs to keep pests away.
I just went swimming in the natural spring fed river last week. I swam half a mile (I was bored floating it was just far too much time for me to sit still people watching 4.5 hours of floating?!! hell no, I shortened that up nicely!). If you live in Texas, and your not from Texas, people watching may make you uncomfy. There’s some nice sights don’t get me wrong, turtles and snakes even, in nature. However, if you’re not used to some of the local human inhabitants you find their lingo can be a bit different. Their sunburns don’t help them, I can only hope they realize this sooner than later. I’m a fairly tolerant person, however, even I can only take so much. I think the drawls get to me and the beer flinging, the yelling to their other friends 50 yards away and the drunks telling you they’re going to jump off the cliff ahead and the cigarette smoking… just pollutes my peace. I now know to float earlier for more tranquility.
The compliments I received at this time were not expected. Apparently a lot of people liked my skull bikini top and cowgirl hat (Which I lost going down a tube shoot and nearly flipped out of my tube. I chose to lose the hat because in no way will I ever flip out of a tube). No worries, I have a new cowgirl hat and I’m attaching a string so it can go around my neck instead of fly off.
Summer has indeed, arrived and it’s lack of clothing is welcome, even to see. It’s a tad challenging planning my runs though, as it’s a bit warm in the mornings. So my next 5k race begins at 6:30am in mid July. This will be a feat….to even wake up that early and be running?! I must be mad. I’m determined though, because it’s a goal I need to set for myself. Beat my time from this last 5k I just ran! Which….I came in 4 minutes behind my daughter, I came in 9th place! I’m gaining on her!!! I do need to work on lengthening my strides. I think my hips are protesting which is something to strive for. Yoga helps tons. You should try it! I think stretching has really saved me from so much injury!
“To achieve, you need thought. You have to know what you are doing and that’s real power.” ~Ayn Rand
Just like that she figures it all out. Stop chasing things and start doing things you love! Amazing things will happen, trust me it’s nuts but it’s true.
So I’ve been busy! Additionally our business is nominated 😀 (feel free to vote for us! We’ve only been at this for a year!) http://www.bondageawards.com/nominate/bondage-gear
Sunbathing, jogging, working and playing, lather, rinse, repeat. I had the most delightful and incredible time last weekend at the Museum of Art. I was so rocked and humbled, actually the experience brought tears to my eyes. I wasn’t anticipating this. I was really thinking, ok paintings of old, and new on a wall. Baroque to contemporary art, surely! Only there was far more! Egyptian hieroglyphics, mummies, Roman ruin artifact’s, European artifact’s. Asian artifact’s, Aztec artifact’s, oh and there was baroque and contemporary art too! I literally hummed with the energy of it all pulsating through my veins, how we’ve all evolved is quite astounding.
I met Marcus Aurelius. Which was profound. I don’t quite understand this significance but Marcus came to me in a vivid dream over a year ago, that left me specifically with his name. I didn’t even know his name, did he exist some place? So I googled it. I find his tale a bit interesting if not fascinating, naturally I’m reading up on it as time permits. Sometimes I’m up late into the night reading all sorts of things. (there may be sextra curricular activities involved before or after or again).
Marcus and me. I’m not sure what happened to his man part. I didn’t borrow it or anything for scientific research, this I know.
I’ve also been practising self love and self care. Which for my entire life I thought it was completely self centered being so self absorbed. I wanted to share some ideas and tips for all to indulge. Because WHEN you choose love, you see it everywhere, you feel it from the inside out and you radiate it to those around you.
Don’t we all deserve a little kindness? Yes, we do! Ways to be kind to yourself:
Adjust your expectations-I enjoy life more when I am mindful of what I do, not what I get. One leads to happiness and the other, more often than not, leads to frustration. I control what I do, I don’t control what happens next. I choose to expect nothing and then I will never be disappointed.
Set daily goals-I get in trouble every time I fail to set boundaries. Without time management and personal goals I am stressed out, burned out, and unhappy- that’s no way to live!
Get a good night’s sleep-I don’t know about you but I barely function without a good night’s sleep. When times are tough I need sleep more than ever!
Listen to music-I choose music to suit my mood-techno, mellow, happy, rock, relaxing, energetic, metal- whatever I’m feeling I have a favorite track that imbues good feelings.
Be Happy–I don’t need everything to go my way to be happy, all I need is to celebrate whatever happiness exists in this moment. I can cultivate habits of happiness that carry through to difficult days.Happiness is always there, whenever I choose to embrace it.
Be silly-A little silliness is the best medicine when I’m taking life too seriously. I might make run around in circles, wave my arms, do a funny dance. I can be spontaneous, be ridiculous, and just plain silly!
Exercise-I hold my stress in my body. My neck is stiff and my shoulders tense. Moving my body regularly breaks up the tension and provides and outlet for my stress and frustrations. GO OUTSIDE. You can ride my bicycle, take a walk, or jog, and dance along to a favorite tune. Exercise doesn’t have to mean going to the gym-just moving your body!
Know yourself-A little self-reflection goes a long way. Before I can decide what I want, what I need, or what needs to be done I must first know myself. Even just a few minutes of thoughtful mediation or journaling can give me insight into myself.
Read-I love to read! I need to take that time and make it! Curling up with a good book is a wonderful reprieve from the stress of the day. Reading a favorite blog can motivate and inspire me. Not a bad way to spend a few minutes of my day.
Ask for what you need-I’m not a mind reader and I have to assume no else in my life is, either. Whatever I need, I have to ask for it.
Write-It doesn’t really matter what I write, only that I get my thoughts down on paper instead of keeping them churning about in my mind.
Stretch-Every day I stretch my smile, stretch my body, stretch my heart, and stretch my mind.
Get inspired-I try to get a little inspiration every day. I inspire myself by reading something inspiring, collecting inspiring quotes or getting “out there” and be inspiring.
Say no-Kindness is saying no when I want to, when I need to, and when I mean it.
Laugh-Laughter is life’s best medicine for whatever ails me.
Eat good healthy natural food-When I eat well, I feel well. I try not to eat anything with a label on it. How I eat is considered Paleo Vegan?! (whatever) So from the inside out eating good food is being kind to my body!
Be gentle with yourself-I can be quite hard on myself but, really, that gets me nowhere. On the other hand I make more progress when I am gentle and caring with myself. This is difficult for me but I try every day.
Express yourself-Failing to express myself will undoubtedly cause me frustration and pain. It’s important that I’m honest about what I’m thinking and feeling. I don’t necessarily have to take action- just acknowledging and expressing myself is enough. I don’t even have to tell someone else what I’m thinking and feeling- I can write it down and put it away until later.
Respect yourself-I used to put other people’s opinions, needs, and expectations before my own and that way of living was quite unkind. I have to believe in myself and trust myself to live a happy life. I have to respect myself so I can be someone I’m proud of, someone I admire.
Take a nap-I like my sleep, and some days being well-rested takes more than a good night’s sleep. Some days a power nap is in order to get me through the day. When I power nap I wake up refreshed and clear-headed.
Try again tomorrow-Some days are difficult and it’s all I can do to somehow muddle through- that’s okay, I can try again tomorrow.