Try, triumph and umph

Infinity (symbol: ) is an abstract concept describing something without any limit and is relevant in a number of fields, predominantly mathematics and physics. The English word infinity derives from Latin infinitas, meaning “being without finish”, and which can be translated as “unboundedness”, itself calqued from the Greek word apeiros, meaning “endless”.

This necklace was given to me by my daughter.  I’ve done…something wonderful with that teen.  I’m so proud to be her mother.  I love children.  I’ve always wanted more, only it seemed I was unable to have them.  So I enjoy everyone else’s.

What I’ve learned from this weekend?  1) Never do power yoga after running 3 miles the same day.  2) A day of rest is very difficult for me.  3) I’m no longer emotionally numb.  4) I don’t need any man, or anyone to complete me.  I just need to find happiness within myself and radiate that.  If men or women or friends or people or kids happen to be affected by it, that’s fine.  I’m not going out of my way to complicate my life, I do that enough on my own.  5) I really like 5k races, it’s the outdoor conditions I’ve trouble with.  (ex: excessive humidity, bbq grilling, vehicle exhaust fumes.  My lungs don’t like those. and it may make my breathing erratic and my eyes bug out of my head trying to catch my breath.

So I’ve read a quote that really helped quiet my mind as I was getting ready for my first race in nearly 2 and a half years. “Comparison is the thief of joy” ~ Theodore Roosevelt.  I saw all these amazing women, in all shapes and sizes with serious muscles, with lean muscles, with giant dual strollers that ran (some walked) in the race I ran (early Mother’s day morning) with my daughter.   It’s like the flash dance scene where the character Alex was going to the dance company just to pick up an application for an audition. You see all these amazing talented beings that are very overwhelming and visually stunning.  What sets them apart from you?  Nothing really, besides your determination.

Once I started running all that stuff fell away from my mind.  Eventually my shin splints began screaming at me through my headphones.  “Why why whyeee did you do power yoga the same day you ran 3 miles??!  and What is the proper way to stretch a calf in on the very front shin of your leg?!?! and Why the devil are we running up this big hill?” and Who puts a toddler riding a bicycle in a race and why is he speeding past me?”  There will always be people better than you.   So why even bother?  Lots of reasons.  Insanity, probably but realistically it’s for your own peace of mind.  A notch in your belt perhaps and a reason to smile on the inside knowing what you’re capable of, additionally, you’re stubborn enough to do it again.

I’ve also realized that many of the smaller races are free for all’s.  You can’t have restrictions on not allowing things…like animals or someone dressed as a clown, women in tutu’s, men in tights, nearly naked college athletes (those make me run after them much faster) then there’s the one blind person being lead by a seeing person which was absolutely moving to see, and furthermore very very very old people running just completely thrills me.  Granted the larger the entrance fee the less likely you are going to have families of dual bike strollers with joggers in front of them.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that, it actually gets you out of your mindset for a few seconds to figure out how to out maneuver someone and not end up tripping  over your own feet in the process.  For now I can’t say I’ll run a half marathon….however I’m eyeing a 10k someday.  I’ve got some neat calf muscles now.  Anyway a little something to strive for, inch by inch and little by little, I’ll get there.  So will you, in anything you set your mind to!